


Coitus Interruptus

by infectedscrew



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Date Night, Date Night Interrupted, First Kiss, M/M, Protective!Bruce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 07:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6795028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infectedscrew/pseuds/infectedscrew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt - "dinner date interrupted by Batdad."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coitus Interruptus

Tim lifted a hand to cover his mouth. He’d always hated laughing when his mouth was full of food.

“Ah, come on, when you do that it looks like you don’t find me funny.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Please, you know I find you funny Conner.”

“Not as funny as Bart,” Conner said in a slight pout, poking at his noodles.

“You’re both funny but in different ways. Bart is funny in that Saturday Morning Cartoon sort of way. And you’re funny in the… Successful comedian with more than one lame joke kind of way.”

Conner laughed. “Thanks, I think.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“So, you really didn’t mind coming to Smallville for our, uhm, date?”

Tim shook his head. “No. Staying in Gotham would have meant a higher chance of being interrupted.”

“Clark could come along.”

Tim lifted an eyebrow. “Hardly, if I look just sad enough Clark will agreed to pretty much anything.”

“You’re evil. Do you think that’s how Batman does it?”

“What? Look sad at Superman?”

There was a pause as the two tried to picture that. It didn’t take long for both of them to fall into laughter.

“Okay, okay, dumb question,” Conner chuckled, shaking his head.

“Very dumb.” Tim composed himself by taking a sip of water. “I guess I should ask… Where are the Kents?”

Conner’s fork paused part way to his mouth. “Oh, well, I told them I wanted to do something with you and they…” He cleared his throat before continuing. “Decided to take a vacation to the beach.”

Tim searched his face for a moment. “That sounded suspicious.”

“Well… They did go on vacation but not before giving me the biggest lecture on sex safety and then going out and buying a box of condoms,” Conner spilled out, feeling his neck and ears heat up the longer he talked.

Tim coughed politely, looking away. “That’s very nice of them,” he said awkwardly.

Conner nodded.

A rather uncomfortable silence fell over them. Conner poked at his food and Tim searched for the meaning of life within the hard wood grains of the table.

“Do you… Plan on using them? The condoms, I mean.”

Conner looked up so fast his neck popped. He winced, rubbing the sore joint. “I mean, if you want to. I wouldn’t mind. It’s be great if we could. I mean… Yeah.”

Tim smiled in a very embarrassed but happy way. “Sure.”

Conner blew out a breath of relief. “Oh, thank God. I had no idea how to bring it up with you.”

Tim pushed out of his chair and stood. “You could have just asked. Or…” He stepped around the table. Leaning down, he brings their faces very close together. “Just kissed me.”

Not letting Conner have a moment to babble, Tim kissed him quite hard. Well, hard for a human, not so much for a half-Kryptonian. Conner’s hand moved to the back of Tim’s neck, holding him in place to deepen the action all the more.

They finally pulled away when Tim decided he need feeling in his lips.

“That was…”

But what it was Conner would never find out.

The backdoor slammed open with enough force to throw it off the hinges.

Tim jerked back, instantly standing at attention. His face was pale and serious.

Unwillingly, Conner turned his head to face the angriest Bruce Wayne he’d ever seen and a rather sheepish Clark Kent.

“I tried,” Clark muttered to him.

Bruce stormed up to Tim. The pair were having the most intensely silent conversation. Every bit of communication seemed to come from their eyes alone. Whatever passed between them, Tim lost the battle and he was quickly shooed out the door.

“I warned you, Clark,” Bruce hissed, thrusting his finger in the other man’s chest. “If they do anything together it’s either in Gotham or Titan Tower where I can keep an eye on them.”

“Bruce, come on, they’re just teenagers.”

Bruce made a noise no human should be able to make, no matter how angry. “With a box of condoms on hand.”

“I heard that part,” Clark admitted.

“Gotham or Titan Tower or nothing at all,” Bruce snapped, slamming the door shut.

Conner blinked at the following silence, head spinning. He’d dealt with speedsters and high velocity chases. But he still didn’t think he’d ever been apart of a situation that happened that fast.

“Clark..?”

Clark sighed. “Best keep your escapades to Titan Tower. Dick told me one or two of the rooms were sound proof.”

Conner groaned, burying his face in his hands.


End file.
